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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

11.06.2025 18:57

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

Ok, so this is a question seeking an answer to clear up whatever gymnastics are in my head. I'm a moderately attractive guy, sincere heart, genuinely looking to love another, established. Why don't women that I'm attracted to, want me back?

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

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By taking turns talking.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.